The correspondence between Kant and Maria von Herbert concerns friendship and secrecy, duty and desire. I discuss the role of these in Kant's philosophy, drawing on the "Doctrine of Virtue", and the work of Strawson and Korsgaard. Kant's contrast between lying and reticence is ill founded by Kant's own lights: lying can be virtuous. Moreover, Herbert's plight challenges a severe Kantian philosophy, for she, although suicidal, is a Kantian saint. There is a saner Kantian philosophy which has a better answer to her quandary. Following Korsgaard, I consider how a consequentialist Kantianism might apply to Herbert's case.